Day 17

Somebody is jealous of his new sister’s new clothes!  (I should be saving these for a wordless Wednesday, but maybe I’ll start that next month!)  At least he has good taste!

WE HAVE A DATE!!!

On Fri, I found out we have an appt to accept our referral for Dashlyn’s adoption!  This is what we’ve been working toward all these months!  So we need to be in Dashlyn’s home country on Nov. 1st!  I’ll make travel arrangements this week, plus gather all the other paperwork we need, plus pack, plus plan for the kids here at home, plus talk to M’s school about her going back with me, plus plus PLUS!!  I’m overwhelmed today but that’s okay.  It will all get done, and what doesn’t, oh well!

Day 15

I am soon to be the mother of 2 children with Down syndrome! 2!! This is so amazing to me. I really didn't think I was mom material at all, let alone mom to anyone who had a little something extra.

When we found out about Jack, it took a few days to sink in, but the thought of not having him wasn't a consideration. I remember when the dr called to give me the results of our amnio, he was very kind and gentle, but he did say we could discuss "options" if I wanted to. As he was saying those words, I could feel Jack moving and kicking inside of me. I almost laughed in the midst of my sadness, when I replied "no thanks" as I imagined Jack in there saying hey now, I'm here, and I'm real, and I'm really too busy for your options! So that began my journey into the world of parenting a child with special needs. I honestly didn't allow myself to wonder if I could do it. I knew Allan would be a super good daddy to ANY child so my job was to keep up! I tried to learn about Ds and access as many resources as I could for Jack. Keeping in mind that when he would be born he was going to be a BABY, was the most helpful thing of all. I already knew I loved babies and could deal with that. Falling instantly in love with his little face helped too!

Less than 2 years after Jack's birth, I learned of Reece's Rainbow, the ministry that helps to find families for children born with extra challenges in other countries. These children live in orphanages, and since I've discussed this before, we won't re-visit, but the thought of adopting fascinated me. I never considered it for our family. We have 4 kids already, we live in a tiny house, we don't have a lot of money. I thought the families that did adopt were so brave. I read their stories with interest, supported their efforts, and was amazed at their ability to step out in faith.

Last Christmas, I fell in love with a picture on Reece's Rainbow. A little girl, not yet 2, blonde and blue-eyed like my boys, drool on the front of her shirt like my Jackson, and an orphan in Eastern Europe without a family. A seed was planted. It grew all winter. By the end of January, I was asking Allan - "do you think we could...." and he reminded me of all the reasons we could not. By the end of Feb, the seed was growing within him as well, and we knew that sweet little girl belonged with us. It still doesn't seem real. We're only weeks away from holding her in our arms (17 days!) and I can't believe it. This is the way it felt to be this close to giving birth. The evidence is there; the preparations have been made; the reality has yet to hit. And I will be the mother to 5 beautiful children, 2 who have the kind of special needs that scare the bejeebers outta most people, and I am so blessed.

Day 14

Another interesting fact about Jack – he likes to dress up.  If it’s not his stuff – even better.  I found Ty’s Halloween costume and guess who wanted to wear it??

Can you guess what he is?  Yep, he’s a ninja!  The mask is great, right?!

Difficult post….

This is why we feel such a pull to go get our beautiful Dashlyn.  Do you see this lovely doll in the pic above?  She lived in an orphanage in EE.  She was waiting for a family to claim her.  Waiting for a mommy and daddy.

Her waiting is over.  Sweet Anne Marie has passed away.  I’ve been broken hearted all day.  There are not enough words.  Please read more about her here. 

Day 12

So here is a little essay that someone posted on one of the forums I enjoy. You've probably read it before as I have but it's totally worth reading again. :)

Who Mothers the Children with Disabilities?
By Erma Bombeck
This year, nearly 100,000 women will become mothers of children with disabilities. Did you ever wonder how mothers of children with disabilities are chosen?

Somehow I visualize God hovering over the earth selecting His instruments for propagation with great care and deliberation. As He observes, He instructs his angles to make notes in a giant ledger.

Finally, He passes a name to an angel and smiles, "Give her a child with a disability."

The angel is curious. "Why, this one, God? She's so happy." Exactly smiles God.

"Could I give a child with a disability to a mother who does not know laughter? That would be cruel." "But has she patience?" asks the angel.

"I don't want her to have too much patience or she will drown in a sea of self-pity and despair. Once the shock and resentment wear off, she'll handle it.

"I watched her today. She has that feeling of self and independence that is so rare and so necessary in a mother. You see, the child I'm going to give her has his own world. She has to make him live in her world and that's not going to be easy."

"But Lord, I don't think she even believes in you." God smiles, "No matter, I can fix that."

"This one is perfect. She has just enough selfishness."

The angel gasps, "Selfishness? Is that virtue?" God nods. "If she can't separate herself from the child occasionally, she'll never survive. Yes...here is a woman whom I will bless with a child less perfect. She doesn't realize it yet, but she is to be envied. She will never take for granted a 'spoken word'. She will never consider a 'step' ordinary. When her child says "Momma" for the first time she will be present at the miracle and know it!"

When she describes a tree to her blind child, she will see it as few people ever see my creation."

"I will permit her to see clearly the things I see...ignorance, cruelty, prejudice...and allow her to rise above them. She will never be alone. I will be at her side every minute of her life because she is doing my work as surely as she is here by my side."

...Erma Bombeck

I would very much love to be that woman. I'm still working at it. Good to know that God didn't expect me to be perfect! I'm good at not being perfect. Hard to believe I was blessed with our little man - I must have done something right.

Day 11

So today I'm thinking about sign language. Jack uses many signs, enough that I lost track of how many. We learned most of them from various Signing Time videos, either ones that we purchased, or rented from the library. Also there's several signing websites that I look at when we want to find a sign. I like this one because you can look up words pretty easily and a little video accompanies each sign.

One of our favorite things to do when Jack and Braska were a little younger was sit them side by side and have them sign words - so cute! You can see a little of that on Braska's blog.

Jack is starting to use more spoken words, but he still doesn't use words that are understandable all the time. Today he signed water to Andrew while holding his cup, and when Andrew asked "you want water?", Jack started to sign milk and corrected himself to sign water. He's really getting it! So for us, signing has been an excellent way to bridge the gap between no communication and spoken dialog. AND, it's been fun and so cute to see him sign words!