Wednesday, June 20, 2012

I absolutely, positively, cannot resist my sleeping kiddos

I can’t even count how many pics I’ve taken of them asleep.  I’m probably the only one who would ever be interested (and that is okay) but I’m sharing 2 now. 



Aren’t they completely precious?!  They both have the sweetest little hands.  Love, Love, Love!!

My husband and I have been pretty lucky.  All the kids sleep in their own beds all night long.  I hear them if they fall out of bed or are sick or something but for the most part we just give hugs and kisses and make sure the covers are accessible (I cover them up – they kick them off!) and shut the door and walk away.  Both little kids still have bed rails so they don’t fall out.  Jack started sleeping with a night light when we started getting spring storms and he was worried, but usually they sleep in the dark, doors shut, all night long.  I usually check on them before I go to bed and they are out.  It’s awesome!

Wednesday, June 13, 2012

Something a Little More Cheerful

We’re having a very non-scheduled summer so far.  We’re looking forward to plenty of fun stuff in the next 2 months too.  So far the littles have remembered that they love swimming:

IMG_0376 IMG_0397

We’ve gone to a couple of movies and plan to go to lots more.

We’re sleeping ridiculously late and staying up late too (my favorite part of summer!).

We’ve spent time in the backyard and I have plans to find more ways to have fun there.

I have ideas for getting our house more organized and I’m hoping to get to that soon (including painting a few walls – YAY! I love painting!).

And it seems as though I need to take more pics.  I thought I was doing okay in that area but can’t find much so looks like I’m slacking off there. 


And finally, thanks for all the lovely comments and notes.  You guys are awesome.  I don’t like feeling so needy and pathetic but I’m feeling the hugs – keep ‘em coming!

Sunday, June 10, 2012

And things go from bad to worse……

My mom has been gone for just over 2 months now.  2 very long months.  A few days ago would have been my parents’ 53rd anniversary.  I was thinking of them both all day, and especially my dad, as he tried to make it though not just another day, but a very special day in his life, and one that should have involved a bouquet of flowers, a dinner out, and a time of sharing special memories.

But I’m not done.  Just over 2 weeks ago, my aunt (my mom’s sister) took my uncle to the hospital.  He hadn’t been acting quite right for awhile, and that day she knew something was wrong.  Over several days and several tests, she learned my uncle has large tumors growing on his brain, and will not be with us much longer.  I drove to visit him, in a city far away, leaving my kids and family, in an attempt to say goodbye and I love you, because I’m sure I’ve not been able to do that adequately up to now.  I’ve been selfish and naive, thinking there’s all the time in the world.  When I got home I realized my amazing kids wanted a chance to say bye too, so we drove up again and got home tonight.  He knew who we were and I hope was happy to see us.  When we left, I again said I love you.  I’ve decided that whether you lose someone quickly, or have time to get ready, it sucks either way.    

But I’m still not done.  I knew another uncle, my dad’s sister’s husband, has not been well.  He and my aunt have been fighting his alzheimer’s for awhile.  I found out while I was away the first trip that he has died.

To be clear, I don’t feel bad that my very much loved family members have died and gone to live with Jesus.  I know they are healthy, happy, and in a much better place than we are.  But I want my mom.  I know my aunt and cousin aren’t ready to spend the rest of their lives without my uncle.  I’ve decided there is no good way to lose a family member, quick or time to say goodbye – no good way.  I’m tired of crying, feeling like I want to throw up one minute and wanting to stuff my face the next.  My kids have no idea what to do with me.  I couldn’t buy mother’s day cards and here comes father’s day.  The other day (well, it was a couple weeks ago) I had to leave Wal Mart because an older lady came in leaning on her cart to hold herself up while pushing it and that’s what my mom did.

I know lots of my friends have learned to live without their mom, but how??  How do you do it?